Dear Hazel, Augie, and Eliza

     We had a fabulous time visiting you in Louisville. It was really the first opportunity Martha, Owen and I had to get to know you, and it was a huge pleasure. Witnessing whether Hazel could keep a secret about that trip to the gourmet popsicle shop, how Eliza reacted to losing the finger puppet we had given her just an hour earlier, and that time Augie put on a mask and spied on us through the crack in the door, gave us windows into the kind of adults you will become. In gratitude we are sending you a gift. It is with great honor that we present to you this skull, what we hope is your first. There is a whisper of a tradition in this family of sending skulls as gifts. Ask your dad about it.

     If a picture is worth a thousand words, a skull can tell a thousand stories - particularly the haunted ones. The stories this skull can tell include the following:

     1. "I was an old raccoon. In fact I probably died of old age. You can tell because my teeth are really worn, and the sutures that used to be where the skull parts come together are now completely fused and smooth."

     2. "Most raccoons die under the wheel of a car, but I died out on the windswept prairie. Well, I can't really tell that story, but that's where Mark found me. Those dark areas near my eye socket and nose? That's where I was scorched by fire. Mark and his dad burned a prairie this spring, and Mark found me after the flames had died down."

     3. "I'm missing a couple teeth because Mark wasn't very careful when he picked me up. He should have put on his glasses, gotten down on his hands and knees, and looked around to make sure he had all the parts. Keep that in mind when opportunity knocks and you find a skull."

     4. "I will look great on a bookshelf in your room. Make sure your parents install dramatic lighting. I can help with fixture selection and placement."

     5. "You can use me to impress your friends too. Take care of me long enough and you can pull me out to break those awkward silences on a first date. If things go well and you make it to a second date, your search may be over. Ask Mark about that some time."

     6. "Skulls have many other uses, but you might want to think carefully before implementing them. Like, for example, incorporating me into your Halloween costume. You wouldn't want to do something like don a cape, fill my brain cavity with chocolate syrup, run out into a group of neighborhood kids, lift me high over your head and let the syrup pour out of my foramen magnum onto your tongue. But if you did do that, slowly bring your gaze down and lock eyes with that kid whose been bullying you, as you grin and let some of the chocolate run out of the corner of your mouth. You won't have to worry about her anymore."

"I'll tell you some more stories later... after your parents have gone to sleep."

Photo by Sam Simkoff

Until we meet again,  all our love,    Uncle Mark, Aunt Martha,  & Cousin Owen