Jesus is a Football Fan

Jesus seems like a pretty smart guy.   I'm sure he's been thinking long and hard about the time and place of his second coming...

otherwise he would have done it already.



If I were Jesus I'd return on the stage of the Superbowl halftime show.  Maroon 5, or whoever ends up taking the gig, might be bummed - #upstaged.  On the other hand they'll be like, "Criticize the performance all you want - we brought Jesus."

Will he even look like Jesus?



I'm going to watch just to find out.




I wonder if they'll go ahead and play the rest of the game.  They're going to have to because there's all those TV ads they sold.  Five million bucks for thirty seconds?  Hell yeah they're gonna play, Jesus or no Jesus.



Will Jesus get to sit wherever he wants?

What if the first half has been a total blowout and as the teams return to the field he starts visibly cheering for the one that's been getting killed?  I think that's what the guys up in the booth would call a "momentum shift."

As the historic comeback unfolds opposing fans will be like, "Jesus Christ!  You asshole!  I've been praying for this moment since I was a little kid!  My son, and my dad, and my grandpa are here!  What the fuck man?"

I can tell you right now he's not going to listen to people who take his name in vain.  Besides...


that's his team out there.





He'll have to be careful when it's all over...


on his way to the parking lot...


or wherever he's going.





Maybe this visit will end kind of like the first one did...




only faster.






Or not.